Surfing is one of the few sports where you can pee whenever you want. That's why they call them wetsuits. Q: How do you get a surfer to school on time? A: Tell him the waves are crappy. Q: What's the difference between a surfer and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of five. Q: Why is surfing like sex? A: When it's good, it's really, really good. And when it's bad... it's still pretty good. Q: Why are surfers generally more cheerful and relaxed than most others? A: They are the only grown-ups who get to pee in their clothes on a regular basis. Q: What do you call a surfer who just broke up with his girlfriend? A: Homeless. Q: Why did the shortboarder cross the road? A: Because all the other carbon-copied, brand-wearing, sticker-flashing unimaginative shortboarders did. Q: What detergent do surfers use to wash their wetsuit? A: Tide! Two surfers are getting ready to paddle out. Surfer one: "Hey, guess what! I got a new longboard for my wife!" Surfer two: "Great trade!" The boy asks, "Daddy, what makes the wind blow?" Father says, "It's caused when daddy puts on his wetsuit". A surfer known for the amount of waves he caught was asked for his secret. "It's simple," he replied. "When I get up in the morning, and my wife is lying on her right side, I only take waves with a right break. If she is lying on her left side, I only take waves with a left break." "Suppose she is lying on her back?" "In that case, I sure as hell don't go surfing!"