Sunday, June 22, 2014
Monday, June 16, 2014
Prayer to St. Christopher, Patron Saint of Surfers
St. Christopher, patron saint of travelers, is also the patron saint of surfers.
'St. Christopher, Big Kahuna patron saint of surfers, protect me in the water from take-off to the beach. Carry this surfer chick on your broad shoulders as I spiritually commune through surfing. I come to this ocean in search of peace and tranquility. Guide us on our surfing safaris to the awesome, tubular waves, nothing gnarly. Please give me patience to wait for the right wave, the strength to paddle it, and the ability to ride it. Help me eventually hang ten, or at least five; for I am in my own way of the faith. Deliver me from wipe outs, unpleasant ho-daddies, and keep my bikini top secure. Let me through surfing follow the way of the Lord and come away stoked in spirit. Amen."
'St. Christopher, Big Kahuna patron saint of surfers, protect me in the water from take-off to the beach. Carry this surfer chick on your broad shoulders as I spiritually commune through surfing. I come to this ocean in search of peace and tranquility. Guide us on our surfing safaris to the awesome, tubular waves, nothing gnarly. Please give me patience to wait for the right wave, the strength to paddle it, and the ability to ride it. Help me eventually hang ten, or at least five; for I am in my own way of the faith. Deliver me from wipe outs, unpleasant ho-daddies, and keep my bikini top secure. Let me through surfing follow the way of the Lord and come away stoked in spirit. Amen."
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| Me trying to hang five. |
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| St. Christopher medal for surfers. |
Sunday, May 25, 2014
A Chilly Interview
A Chilly Interview
The man who interviewed me seemed nice, and I thought the interview was going pretty well, but there was a problem. I'd picked my clothes before I realized that I wouldn't have a bra, so I was wearing a tee-shirt that was sort of tight. And there was air-conditioning in the room. REALLY cold air-conditioning. So my nipples became sort of...well...perky. VERY perky. I tried to act as if nothing strange was happening, but the interviewer kept looking at my chest with a sort of bemused look on his face. I don't know whether he thought that I was a slut, or that I was just really, really enjoying that interview.
Anyway, I did not get the job. However, he suggested that I try for a wait staff position at a restaurant located nearby.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
What's Awesome About Being Single and in Your Twenties!
1. You can travel anywhere without having to feel guilty about not bringing your partner.
2. You don’t have to explain why you came home late — even if the excuse is Taco Bell.
3. You don’t have to hide hanging out with other people from the opposite sex — especially coworkers.
4. You can save more money on literally everything.
5. You don’t feel obligated to share individual items, such as burritos.
6. You can keep your house as clean or as messy as you desire without being judged.
7. You can go out and exchange numbers with anyone, anytime and anywhere.
8. You don’t need to befriend another set of weird dancing family members — your own set is plenty.
9. You don’t have to engage in awkward conversations with your partner’s annoying and obnoxious friends.
10. You need not participate in checkpoint conversations throughout the day.
11. You can storm out of the room and literally leave town without owing an explanation.
12. You can pick up weird new hobbies, such as fencing, without being judged.
13. At least physically, you won’t let yourself go because you’ll be consistently working against “the competition.”
14. You can focus on your career and maybe even move to new cities or countries to pursue a better job.
15. You can spend as much time as you want with your friends without feeling guilty.
16. You can have adventures with new people without having to explain the story about how you met.
17. You can buy cool gifts for yourself instead of pretending to “want” to buy something for your partner.
18. You don’t have to share party favors and your six-pack will remain in the fridge, untouched, after the bar.
19. You don’t have to deal with weird introductions to your family or your mother’s judging glare.
20. You don’t have to be anybody beside yourself and you are free to figure out who that is, however and whenever you want.
21. It's okay if you want to dress in a sexy fashion; people who count won't make judgments.
22. If you want to sleep in, no one's keeping score.
23. Likewise if you don't want to shave your legs.
24. Or wear a bra.
25. No one will tell you that you need to go to church because it's Sunday.
2. You don’t have to explain why you came home late — even if the excuse is Taco Bell.
3. You don’t have to hide hanging out with other people from the opposite sex — especially coworkers.
4. You can save more money on literally everything.
5. You don’t feel obligated to share individual items, such as burritos.
6. You can keep your house as clean or as messy as you desire without being judged.
7. You can go out and exchange numbers with anyone, anytime and anywhere.
8. You don’t need to befriend another set of weird dancing family members — your own set is plenty.
9. You don’t have to engage in awkward conversations with your partner’s annoying and obnoxious friends.
10. You need not participate in checkpoint conversations throughout the day.
11. You can storm out of the room and literally leave town without owing an explanation.
12. You can pick up weird new hobbies, such as fencing, without being judged.
13. At least physically, you won’t let yourself go because you’ll be consistently working against “the competition.”
14. You can focus on your career and maybe even move to new cities or countries to pursue a better job.
15. You can spend as much time as you want with your friends without feeling guilty.
16. You can have adventures with new people without having to explain the story about how you met.
17. You can buy cool gifts for yourself instead of pretending to “want” to buy something for your partner.
18. You don’t have to share party favors and your six-pack will remain in the fridge, untouched, after the bar.
19. You don’t have to deal with weird introductions to your family or your mother’s judging glare.
20. You don’t have to be anybody beside yourself and you are free to figure out who that is, however and whenever you want.
21. It's okay if you want to dress in a sexy fashion; people who count won't make judgments.
22. If you want to sleep in, no one's keeping score.
23. Likewise if you don't want to shave your legs.
24. Or wear a bra.
25. No one will tell you that you need to go to church because it's Sunday.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Zen Humor
04:50:00 AM
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way,when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way,when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Winter in California After All
I told my guy that I just could not take a winter in Alaska. The cold and darkness affects my spirit.
He's promised to visit me sometimes, I think he understands.
He's promised to visit me sometimes, I think he understands.
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